Whatever happened to the good old days, when men were men and nobody needed warning labels to tell them not to drink their shampoo? You know, before everybody got so sensitive and lawsuit-happy?
Well, we’re reasonably sure that what happened is that people realized the good old days were fucking horrible. Just look at how long it took the government to come around on some truly awful shit that should have been stopped decades earlier …
5.It Was Legal For Men To Rape Their Wives In Some States Until 1993
This hopefully goes without saying, but rape is a felony, and like with any other felony, being married to the victim doesn’t excuse you from jail. At least, that’s what you and any other reasonable human being would assume. But the idea that sexually assaulting your spouse should be considered a crime is only a few decades old in America, because our 20th-century legal system was still struggling with the concept that human beings aren’t property (this has admittedly been difficult for the United States to grasp).
Let’s not forget the Civil War fought over who owns Spider-Man
And we’re not talking about an ugly technicality buried in the bylaws of, say, Mississippi — as recently as 1983, it was still legal for a man to rape his wife in 33 of the 50 states. And this persisted until 1993, when North Carolina became the last state to get rid of laws which explicitly stated that rape wasn’t rape as long as you were married to the victim.
Even now, the old laws still haven’t been completely purged. In Ohio, as well as some other states, marital rape still isn’t considered rape unless there’s violence involved. So you can totally knock your wife out with a roofie; just not a baseball bat. And feel free to pile on all the emotional abuse and pressure you need to bully her into having sex with you, because that’s all part of a healthy, legally sanctioned marriage, according to the state of Ohio.
Congratulations, Browns! You’re officially not the shittiest thing about your state
And before foreigners get too smug, the UK was only two years ahead of the US, criminalizing rape within marriage in 1991. You may recognize that as the year Bill & Ted’s Bogus Journey came out. So yeah, criminalized marital rape in the United Kingdom is exactly as old as Bill & Ted’s Bogus Journey.